One of the hardest things we face here on Earth is the loss of those we love. It happens at different times to all of us, but it’s an unavoidable price we pay to be here, experience this world, and love others. For those who pass, I believe it is like walking through a door to find a room full of people that have gone before, all waiting there to celebrate a completed journey with acceptance and compassion. A fantastic and overwhelmingly loving reunion unlike anything we can imagine.
For us here, not so much. The agony of grief is real, we have all experienced it, or will in our lives. The pain is like no other, and the storm of loss doesn’t relent so easily. For me, it was like someone took away my compass, in an instant I felt lost. The jokes, memories, our shared stories were just cut off. Gone.
We must all face this pain, and if you are struggling with this I want you to know there is a path from grief through gratitude that will help you adjust to the loss of your loved one. It takes work, it takes time, we must practice living with loss. One day at a time, even one minute at a time is all you need to do right now. I encourage you to embrace the power of gratitude in your practice, and to work on healing yourself with the power of love. There is no “getting over it”, or “moving on”, there is only the gift of presence and awareness of our ability to find joy in the moment.
I believe the way through the fog of grief is gratitude. We are fortunate to have others who love us and who we love here, and I find great comfort embracing gratitude for those we have lost. The alternative is a lifetime of suffering, pain and torment. It is easy to slip into this pattern with the pain of loss.
I have a question for you. When you die, and you will, how do you want those you love to feel? It is a serious question, and deserves honest thought from you. Again, when you die, and you will, how do you want those you love to feel? Do you want them to suffer for the rest of their lives in grief over your death? Or, do you want them to flourish in life, to continue their journey.
We all know the answer, but it’s hard to face. There is no way your loved one who has passed wants you to struggle, they know the truth – we don’t die, we expand into pure love. They are urging you on from the other side, to complete your journey here. Ask yourself and honestly answer, how are you doing with this? Imagine sitting with your lost loved ones and having a conversation, what do you think they would tell you about how you carry your grief, and how it has affected you? What would they say? Stop reading and picture this now. They likely tell you this all the time, and most of us know what they would say. Feel their love, support and encouragement, and their calls to tell you to get moving, to stop suffering and find joy in each moment.
Gratitude honors the life of those we have lost. Despair and grief, self-pity, and regret are not what we would ever wish on those we love. It is okay to find joy after loss, it okay to find love after loss. This does not dimmish your love for your lost love one in any way. Being “okay” is exactly what you would want for all the people who you love when you pass from this earth. What would you say to someone if the roles were reversed?
The pain can be unbearable, but an instant of gratitude cuts through to lighten our hearts, a quick memory and thanks for your time with them calls directly upon the power of love to lighten your load. Love always delivers.
I’ve added some resources below that I found very helpful in my loss journey. It is my hope that they help you as well. When grief strikes you, take a moment to think of a great memory with your loved one, I cant remember where I read it but I believe this is true: sadness and grief cant share the same space with gratitude. It really does help me, and I hope it helps you. In those hard moments, pull up a good memory and dwell on it. Think of what you would tell your loves if they were in deep sadness from your passing. Because that is exactly what they are trying to tell you from the other side.
I really like this poem, it is powerful. Read it twice, and find some additional resources below it.
